Telephone manners

Here's what some callers have heard from my kids when they call our house:

kid: hello?
Caller: Is your mom home?
kid: (screaming in the phone) m 0 m? mom! telephone!

or this
kid: (just picks up the phone and says nothing)
caller: hello? hello? heeeeelllllooooooooo?

or this
kid: hello?
caller: Can I talk to your mom?
kid: (again not taking the phone down) dad, where's mom? oh! (to the caller) she's in the bathroom

5 minutes later
kid: hello?
caller: Is your mom home?
kid: yep but she's still in the bathroom

or this
kid: hello?
caller: Can I talk to your mom?
kid: no (hangs up)

or this
kid: hello?
caller: is your mom there?
kid: (not bothering to cover the phone while the caller hears me screaming at the kids)

or this may have been my all time favorite (sorry, caller)
kid: hello?
caller: is your mom home?
kid: yep
caller: can I talk to her?
kid: well, she's in the shower
caller: is your dad home?
kid: yep
caller: can I talk to him?
kid: he's in the shower too